How to Turn Energy Drains to Energy Givers

I have a client, Phil, who finds himself waiting for his wife on a regular basis. This is a constant energy drain for him. He is a stickler for being on time, and it annoys and frustrates him that his wife makes him late. On one such occasion, Phil and his wife were taking their three boys to Phil’s parents’ house and escaping for a much-needed weekend away. Their first destination was massages for two; Phil thought this would be a wonderful way to decompress from their stressful lives. Phil had gotten all three kids in the car, which is no small feat, and was again waiting for his wife, who was still in the house. His body began to tense up as he imagined each minute ticking by was another minute of the massage he was missing. He found himself getting angrier and angrier, allowing his mind to imagine every time he had ever waited for his wife. Suddenly, he was losing hours, days, and weeks off his life when he could have been doing something positive, like relaxing. By the time Phil and his wife got to the massage appointment, Phil’s body was holding so much tension that it would take three days of constant massage to get him back to where he was before he began experiencing this particular energy drain.

Now, Phil believed the solution was to fix his wife from being late, but I bet if this were achieved, Phil would still find something else in which to get tense about. Let’s face it, many things happen in life that are out of our control and the only choice we have is how we decide to respond to them.

After a few coaching sessions, Phil realized he couldn’t change his wife but he could change himself. He decided to focus on the way he reacted to waiting for his wife. Phil’s initial concern was all the time he had lost in which he could have been doing something positive. Instead of using the time to get tense, angry, and frustrated, he decided he would use the extra time to relax. So, he began meditating whenever he found himself in a situation where he was waiting for his wife. He specifically focused on using the tools I had taught him, Centering, Clearing, and Connecting.

These few minutes spent practicing The Three Cs became an energy giver instead of the energy drain that was happening when he was fixated on his wife making him late. It was like a breath of fresh air for Phil that ultimately changed the quality of his day. It also improved his relationship with his wife, as Phil no longer felt anger, but more love and patience for his wife. This, in turn made it easier for her to be more relaxed as well.

Interestingly enough, over time, Phil’s wife got better about being on time. She was no longer wasting energy worrying about her husband being angry with her if she was late. As a result, she could focus much better on what she needed to get done instead of worrying about what her husband was doing.

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